Posts tagged marriage

Intimacy

Intimacy is an intrusion into your lonely lifestyle, a bold invasion of your privacy often with your consent. It just happens to be a very pleasant invasion … most of the time. Intimacy happens when you cross paths with another species of being and find that your numerous plugs fit into their numerous sockets… at least most of them. Intimacy happens when you open up your sockets and extend you plugs to exchange soul by giving and receiving.

Intimacy is an invasion. There are no more gates with this significant other. There are no more barriers. There is so much discomfort in tearing down these barriers and when they are down… they are down. The army raids your inward parts and nothing is hidden anymore. Whatever was in the dark is completely exposed. The fragile emotions, the unseemly habits, the lousy flaws covered in cosmetics in public places. Everything is exposed!

Intimacy is an intrusion. At the beginning it is unpleasant to give in. But when the bombardment becomes unbearable, the walls begin to fall. They crack at first, it hurts yet is thrilling. Why does the thrill hurt so much? Because stone walls are crumbling under heavy fire. The women of the city are on rampage. There is chaos in the inward parts. The boundaries are no longer relevant.

Intimacy is an invasion. Looting is lawful because everything is shared. Nothing is private anymore when two become one. The concept of private property has no meaning in this realm. The other one becomes a disturbance that you cannot live without, a massive cedar tree growing in the centre of your bedroom. Things get missing, personal effects are moved, and permissions are granted without being requested. Everything is shared.

Intimacy is liberation when two become one; that is how we are designed. Intimacy is a relief because that is what we long for. Intimacy is a pedestal which we all reach for so long as we have the capacity to feel. Intimacy is a challenge we find fulfilling to surmount.  Intimacy is a trap we would gladly walk into over and over again because we would rather be bound by love than be lost in loneliness.

Intimacy is a seed that can grow for a lifetime. Intimacy is a weed that can become beautiful when nurtured or else entangled to the point of choking itself when left untendered. Intimacy is an experience so sacred and priceless, so profound and engaging, so complex and intricate that it can only be shared with one other at any point in time during a lifetime.

Intimacy is a treasure often so hard to find and so easy to lose that we must depend on neither logic nor appearance to grasp its deepest meaning. A concept so deep that we must spend a lifetime discovering is infinite layers and facets. It is a maze so intricate that we must pay attention to the tiniest detail to preserve it in its finest form. Intimacy … we could go on and on forever and we will.

This article was originally published in July 2012

10 Strategies for Keeping Your Wife’s Mind on You

When I wrote on marriage in the book Till Death I learnt a few new things about cars, medicine, writing itself and of course relationships. Back then, my Senior Partner and I came up with a few tips that could help married men resonate constantly in their wife’s minds.

After going through these tips, I would be glad if you provide feedback on the results of practising just two out of the ten tips over a period of time. Also, you could add tips from your own experience as comments. So here we go:

1. Send a very special SMS or IM everyday whenever you are away. Sample:

‘Someone got me really upset today then he wondered why I just smiled. I smiled ‘cos at that very moment, I thought about u’

2. Spend thirty minutes every day talking to her exclusively. Turn off the TV, your phones, your computer and just talk with her.

3. Have her pose and take pictures of her every weekend. Take pictures of her when she is asleep and surprise her with them.  

4. Do the cooking, house chores or take care of the baby all by yourself and let her do whatever she wants every two weeks.

5. Take her out to dinner, a park, the beach, the movies or wherever at least once a month.

6. Buy her a small gift every month. On special occasions – birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas – buy her a big gift.

7. Visit her at her office once in a while unannounced. Let her colleagues know you.

8. Take her on a trip out of town at least once a year. Depending on where you are going, vary the modes of transport.

9. Describe a part of her body in detail to her once in a while. You can recite it like a poem, write it and send it in the mail or capture it on a camcorder.

10. Confess your commitment to her in a spiritual atmosphere and let her reciprocate. Sample:

‘You belong to me and I belong to you. You are pleasing to me and sufficient for me. I will never desire another. Our souls are bound by a blood covenant in God the Father. Till Death do us part’.

This post was first published in July, 2011