Leaders Listen, Rulers Talk
Date Archives November 2018
Intimacy
Intimacy is an intrusion into your lonely lifestyle, a bold invasion of your privacy often with your consent. It just happens to be a very pleasant invasion … most of the time. Intimacy happens when you cross paths with another species of being and find that your numerous plugs fit into their numerous sockets… at least most of them. Intimacy happens when you open up your sockets and extend you plugs to exchange soul by giving and receiving.
Intimacy is an invasion. There are no more gates with this significant other. There are no more barriers. There is so much discomfort in tearing down these barriers and when they are down… they are down. The army raids your inward parts and nothing is hidden anymore. Whatever was in the dark is completely exposed. The fragile emotions, the unseemly habits, the lousy flaws covered in cosmetics in public places. Everything is exposed!
Intimacy is an intrusion. At the beginning it is unpleasant to give in. But when the bombardment becomes unbearable, the walls begin to fall. They crack at first, it hurts yet is thrilling. Why does the thrill hurt so much? Because stone walls are crumbling under heavy fire. The women of the city are on rampage. There is chaos in the inward parts. The boundaries are no longer relevant.
Intimacy is an invasion. Looting is lawful because everything is shared. Nothing is private anymore when two become one. The concept of private property has no meaning in this realm. The other one becomes a disturbance that you cannot live without, a massive cedar tree growing in the centre of your bedroom. Things get missing, personal effects are moved, and permissions are granted without being requested. Everything is shared.
Intimacy is liberation when two become one; that is how we are designed. Intimacy is a relief because that is what we long for. Intimacy is a pedestal which we all reach for so long as we have the capacity to feel. Intimacy is a challenge we find fulfilling to surmount. Intimacy is a trap we would gladly walk into over and over again because we would rather be bound by love than be lost in loneliness.
Intimacy is a seed that can grow for a lifetime. Intimacy is a weed that can become beautiful when nurtured or else entangled to the point of choking itself when left untendered. Intimacy is an experience so sacred and priceless, so profound and engaging, so complex and intricate that it can only be shared with one other at any point in time during a lifetime.
Intimacy is a treasure often so hard to find and so easy to lose that we must depend on neither logic nor appearance to grasp its deepest meaning. A concept so deep that we must spend a lifetime discovering is infinite layers and facets. It is a maze so intricate that we must pay attention to the tiniest detail to preserve it in its finest form. Intimacy … we could go on and on forever and we will.
This article was originally published in July 2012
Angels and Demons
I met a forty-something year old man on my way from work yesterday. I was just a few blocks from my office. He greeted and I responded as nicely as I could, I mean, this is Ghana not Nigeria isn’t it? Well he then asked me where I was going. What?!!! Excuse, me? As in? You know! But why? I repeated his question, adding a second question mark in my tone so he would know I was actually asking “Why are you asking where I am going?” He then mentioned that I work at my workplace and I acknowledged and asked whether he worked there too but he said he just sees me around. Oooopsss! This is a security issue.
After a few seconds I kept moving and I began to recall that he looked quite like a certain man I had given one cedi a week or two previously. Ouch! I began wondering whether I had exposed myself. Well, he had asked for small money for water and I took pity wondering what would make a full grown man lie down on a pavement and ask for water from passers-by. Suspicious!
A few thoughts on this: this able-bodied man recognizes me, knows where I work and wanted to know where I was going. He also knew I was capable of sparing one cedi for a stranger at least. Hmmm. He may have even been trying to find out when I close from work. Of course, he would have failed woefully at that one. He would need several algebraic equations, (simultaneous at that) to find out.
The short experiences raises questions about how a little help offered can seem to backfire so hard that rather than entertaining angels in our attempt to help, some people end up encountering demon-like entities. There are stories of those who got hypnotized and kidnapped in their attempt to respond to someone asking for directions; swindled by those they lent money to, or pick-pocketed while trying to stop a fight! . Sad experience for such people.
Well, I guess we all have to act wisely in our dealings so we don’t expose ourselves to demon-like strangers not forgetting that ‘angels’ are still out there who really need help. Sure, we cannot let these impostors rob us of the joy of meeting angels, can we?
This post was originally published in November 2012
Five SQL Server Management Practices
This article outlines five native SQL Server capabilities you can use to enhance your efficiency as a DBA. It was originally published on SQL Server Central
As organisations seek more cost efficient ways to manage their environments, the demand on IT to deliver and manage shops on a tighter budget is increasing. The typical IT person must think not just about what must be done but how it must be done not only with the least administrative effort but with the least financial cost.
Administrative effort indirectly contributes to financial cost when such factors such as time spent on performing tasks and resources employed in performing such administrative tasks are considered. In this article I have outlined a few areas where DBAs working in moderately sized environments can capitalise on to manage their environments more efficiently and more cost effectively.
1. Use Windows Authentication
SQL Server provides two main authentication modes: mixed mode and Windows Authenticaton. In mixed mode authentication, logins can be created within SQL Server. SQL Server does the authentication and the user must provide both a username and a password when connecting to the instance. Windows logins can also be used.
Windows Authentication mode allows SQL Server to trust a credentials that have already been authenticated by Windows. This credential could be a local OS account or an Active Directory domain account. Typically when using Windows Authentication in a connection string you specify –T (for trust) or the option ‘Integrated Security=true’ (see https://www.connectionstrings.com/ for more details on this). Some developers are typically averse to taking the trouble to use Windows Authentication probably because it appears more straightforward to simply specify a username and password in the connection string.
Windows Authentication has the following advantages:
Much More Secure – Windows Authentication is more secure because a series of encrypted messages are used in the authentication process. When using Windows Authentication mode, SQL Server supports Kerberos through the Windows Security Support Provider Interface (SSPI). It is also worth noting that when you do use SQL Server Logins, passwords are transmitted across the network exposing them to sniffing.
Easier to Manage – In an environment where users every now and then request a password reset or lock their accounts, using Windows Authentication takes the load of trivial tasks such as unlocking account and resetting passwords off the DBA.
Easier for Compliance – Many industry standards such as PCI-DSS demand basic practices such as password expiry, password complexity specifications and so on. Although this can be enabled on SQL Logins with the CHECK_POLICY=ON option, this is done per login. Using Windows Authentication ensures compliance requirements are handled by Windows not SQL Server which is much more efficient.
Easier for Access Management – When you need to manage a variety of departments who access SQL Server directly it will pay to handle access to the SQL Instance as follows:
- Create Windows Security Groups in Active Directory for each Department
- Grant the Windows Security Group Access to the SQL Instance
- Grant the Windows Groups the required privileges (through roles) on SQL Server
- When a new staff joins a particular depart, add him/her to the group on AD
- When a staff leaves the department remove him from the group on AD
- When a staff leave the organisation, remove him from ALL groups on AD
I think the above approach or any variant is much easier than handling individual principals at SQL Server level. In addition, it can help pass Access Management to a non-DBA function entirely who will not need to access SQL Server frequently to do their job.
2. Use Central Management Servers
Central Management Servers (available since SQL Server 2008) allow you to designate an instance as a management server and subsequently add the connection information for other instances as Registered Servers to that instance. You can group Registered servers as you like and run queries on them as groups.
One good example of the usefulness of this utility is documenting your instances (assuming you are not using more advanced methods). You can run one simple query on your Registered Server Group and get output across instances as shown in Fig 2.
Fig 3 also shows how Central Management Servers can be used to perform adhoc maintenance tasks across instances. In Fig 4 we create an account across multiple instance and grant a role to this login within each database of each of the instances we loop through. You will find this useful if you, for example, want to create an account for monitoring or auditing purposes when using third party tools that must connect to the instance.
It is worth noting that when working in an environment where your database servers are behind firewalls, you should ensure that port 1433 (or any other port you have configured your instances to listen on) is open between the Central Management Server and the Registered Servers. The credentials you use to connect from the Central Management Server should have the required accesses on the Registered Servers.
3. Use a Quorum Share Server
In my experience building SQL Server failover clusters, I have always been more inclined to use Node and Disk Majority Quorum configuration simply because that is what I am used to. With the advent of AlwaysOn Availability Groups, we find that quorum configuration options are limited to Node Majority and Node and Fileshare majority.
When configuring AlwaysOn Availability Groups, It will be useful to designate a single low-spec server as your ‘Quorum Share Server’. Create a number of shares on this server and grant permissions on the share to each clusters you install in your environment. You can manage and safeguard this single server from unintended reboots. You can take control of it as the DBA rather than for example depending on a share sitting on a Domain Controller.
4. Take Backups to a Share
For those who do not use or cannot afford enterprise backup solutions, one would often notice DBAs taking backups to a disk on the same server where the SQL instance is sitting. This is to say the least, RISKY. That means risky in UPPER case. It is even more risky if you are not using a SAN.
When in this situation, it would be a good idea to setup a share on a File Share server and grant permissions to the share to the SQL Server Service accounts across your enterprise. When configuring your backup jobs, simply use the share as your backup location. Below is a sample script:
-- Listing 1: Backup ALl Databases to a Share Excluding TempDB and Model
exec sp_MSforeachdb @command1='
DECLARE @backup sysname
SET @backup=N''\10.1.119.45\Backup\?''+convert(nvarchar,getdate(),112)+N''.bak''
USE [?]
IF ''?'' NOT IN ("tempdb","model")
BACKUP DATABASE ? TO DISK = @backup WITH INIT , NOUNLOAD ,
NAME = N''?'', NOSKIP , NOFORMAT'
-- Listing 2: Backup ALL Databases to a Share Excluding TempDB and Model if there has Been No Backup in the Last 24 Hours
exec sp_msforeachdb @command1='
USE ?
DECLARE @backup sysname
DECLARE @db sysname
SET @backup=N''\10.1.119.45\POST_BKP\'' + DB_NAME() + ''_'' + convert(nvarchar,getdate(),112)+N''.bak''
SET @db = DB_NAME()
IF NOT EXISTS (
select bus.database_name, bus.backup_start_date, bus.backup_finish_date,
(((DATEPART(HH,bus.backup_finish_date))- (DATEPART(HH,bus.backup_start_date)))3600) + (((DATEPART(MI,bus.backup_finish_date)) - (DATEPART(MI,bus.backup_start_date)))60) +
(((DATEPART(SS,bus.backup_finish_date)) - DATEPART(SS,bus.backup_start_date))) [backup_time (secs)], bus.backup_size,
bmf.physical_device_name
from msdb..backupset bus
join msdb..backupmediafamily bmf on bus.media_set_id=bmf.media_set_id
where bus.backup_start_date >= (getdate() - 1)
and bus.database_name=''?'')
IF ''?'' NOT IN ("tempdb")
BEGIN
BACKUP DATABASE ? TO DISK = @backup
WITH INIT , NOUNLOAD ,
NAME = N''?_Backup'', NOSKIP , STATS = 10, NOFORMAT
END'
5. Use Operators and Alerts
Operators are aliases for a group of people who receive alerts from a SQL Server instance. Alerts can be triggered by server conditions as well as jobs. When an alert is raised and Database Mail has been configured correctly, the alert is fired as an email to the Operators defined and mapped to the specific alert. Using Operators and Alerts can replace the need for a third party monitoring tool assuming your shop is not too large and you wish to save some money on monitoring. With details planning, standardization Operators and Alerts can go a very long way in meeting monitoring requirements.
Conclusion
SQL Server ships with a wide variety of in-built features that can be harnessed creatively to cut down your financial and administrative costs significantly. This article simply points out a few key areas which will be useful especially to not-so-large organisations.
References
https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/bb669066(v=vs.110).aspx
https://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/library/cc280744(v=sql.105).aspx
https://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/library/cc780469(v=ws.10).aspx
https://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/library/hh831472(v=ws.11).aspx
https://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/library/cc280745(v=sql.105).aspx
https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/bb934126.aspx
https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/bb895144.aspx
https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/hh270278.aspx
https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/hh270280.aspx
https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/ms179336.aspx
10 Strategies for Keeping Your Wife’s Mind on You
When I wrote on marriage in the book Till Death I learnt a few new things about cars, medicine, writing itself and of course relationships. Back then, my Senior Partner and I came up with a few tips that could help married men resonate constantly in their wife’s minds.
After going through these tips, I would be glad if you provide feedback on the results of practising just two out of the ten tips over a period of time. Also, you could add tips from your own experience as comments. So here we go:
1. Send a very special SMS or IM everyday whenever you are away. Sample:
‘Someone got me really upset today then he wondered why I just smiled. I smiled ‘cos at that very moment, I thought about u’
2. Spend thirty minutes every day talking to her exclusively. Turn off the TV, your phones, your computer and just talk with her.
3. Have her pose and take pictures of her every weekend. Take pictures of her when she is asleep and surprise her with them.
4. Do the cooking, house chores or take care of the baby all by yourself and let her do whatever she wants every two weeks.
5. Take her out to dinner, a park, the beach, the movies or wherever at least once a month.
6. Buy her a small gift every month. On special occasions – birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas – buy her a big gift.
7. Visit her at her office once in a while unannounced. Let her colleagues know you.
8. Take her on a trip out of town at least once a year. Depending on where you are going, vary the modes of transport.
9. Describe a part of her body in detail to her once in a while. You can recite it like a poem, write it and send it in the mail or capture it on a camcorder.
10. Confess your commitment to her in a spiritual atmosphere and let her reciprocate. Sample:
‘You belong to me and I belong to you. You are pleasing to me and sufficient for me. I will never desire another. Our souls are bound by a blood covenant in God the Father. Till Death do us part’.
This post was first published in July, 2011
If I Were to Live Again
I was born in a village andthe first language I spoke was Igbo. I faintly remember the encounter I hadwith a fellow two or three-year-old in Port Harcourt, Nigeria. We were examininga little pond. I guess I was fascinated with the fact that I could see myreflection in the water, and his too. I made certain comment about the water inIgbo which I am not sure whether he understood, one thing I was very sure ofwas that I did not understand whatever it was he said in English when heresponded. I do not even remember what he said today but I remember I felt outof place when I could not understand him. I remember another incident in myearly life. I am sure I could have been about four years old when I heard thefirst song I remember hearing: Madonna’s LaIsta Bonita (The Beautiful Island). Till date every time I hear that somesomewhere, I remember the blue lights that lit up the hall in that remote villageof the then Imo State called AmaiyiIgbere. My father was well known, generous and used to host a lot ofparties replete with food and drinks. Incidentally, it was at one of thoseparties in 1986 where I had my first taste of beer at age seven: a mix ofleft-overs from several bottles of Gulder, Star and the likes.
A child’s earliest experiences have a huge impact on the outcome of his or her life even if he doesn’t consciously remember those experiences. I believe that some experiences of our childhood stick with us so deep that even if we do not remember them consciously, they lie hidden deep in our subconscious and subtly contribute to our patterns of thinking. While it is safe to say that most of us have these scripts written in our subconscious inadvertently, as parent, we can take advantage of these realities and attempt to deliberately shape the thinking of our children right from childhood by regulating the things they are exposed to.
I once saw a picture of my childhood when I was about two years old. I was fiddling with the record player looking very serious. My Mom told me I tended to find some electronic device to play around with at every opportunity. She also told me I always found a way to open our bedroom window from the first floor of our house in the village until my Dad secured it with binding wire. That is the nature of every new born: always exploring.
(Excerpts from my next book)
Entangled – A Review by Joseph Otoo
